His Butterfly
by Goldie
Summary: I made some changes to chapter's 8 and 9. i hope that they are a lot better now.
1. His Butterfly

Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were do you think I'd put them here?

The song is by Delta Goodrem, called Butterfly.

Gil Grissom sat in his window looking out at the familiar Tahoe parked next to his. He had a feeling she had been watching him from behind the glass in the interrogation room. It made his admission to the doctor slightly more pressure filled. He knew that there would soon be a migraine. As he sat at the window the words from the CD wafted through the apartment.

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I wont hurt you, I'll protect you, I wont let the rain fall down, I'll always be around, and baby I will understand if sometimes you just want to spread your wings and fly, and let your colors shine…….

He felt sick to his stomach. He had managed to hurt her so many times. He would lead her on and then when she would make an advance he would push her away. He couldn't protect her; she had a scar on her hand, seven stitches later, now a painful memory of his stupidity. He was never there for her, and although he thought he understood her needs, he now knew he never knew her at all.

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And everyday I wanna be a risk you take, make a promise that will never break for life, you're my butterfly, don't fly away, open my hands your free, praying you'll come back to me, you're my butterfly…….

Sara sat in her Tahoe; she wanted to talk to Grissom about what he said in the interrogation room. She knew the woman looked like her and it kind of creped her out, but she never thought that Grissom would admit his feelings to a complete stranger, because of a complete stranger. She was humming along to the song on the radio when the words registered in her mind.

"God Grissom, if only you knew how badly I want to be a risk you take."

"You know, having your window rolled down in the rain kind of defeats the purpose of having a window."

"Hey Gris, what are you doing here? Wait….never mind, this is your place. Better question, what am I doing here."

"I know why you're here and I just want to say that I'm sorry"

"Grissom you're getting soaked, get in, I'll roll up my window."

He walked around the Tahoe and got in the passengers side.

"You shouldn't be sorry Gris. I was the one eavesdropping."

"I'm sorry because I didn't have the guts to tell you to your face. I knew you were there. I always know when you're around."

He wasn't looking at her face, he couldn't. He finally looked up when he heard a soft whimper.

"Hey honey, don't cry."

"Don't call me honey! Last time you did, I was stupid and ended up asking you out. Do you even remember? I came here to tell you that I'm tired of your games, and to give you a fair warning of the resignation that will be on your desk at the start of shift. Nothing you say or do will change my mind."

All thoughts of her original conversation gone.

__

I wont forget you, or neglect you, wont let no-one take your place, in your eyes I see my face, and baby do you know that everybody watches, every time you take flight they're blinded by your light, everyday the feelings gonna be the same, I can promise that will never change for life…….

"Maybe this will change your mind"

Grissom captured her lips in a soul searing kiss. He gently pushed her lips apart and let his tongue search her mouth, as if he was processing a crime scene. He regretfully pulled away when he needed air.

"Well, that certainly helps, but a kiss isn't going to make the last three years just disappear."

"I know honey, and I also know that we are going to have to have a long talk. Why don't we go inside, I can get you some coffee or something?"

"I realize that your intentions are of a friend, but it's that offer of something Gris. I want this more than anything but we need to talk with no distractions."

"Sara, as long as I'm around you I will always be distracted, and I hope that just for a moment in time I can make you forget everything."

He leaned over and ran his hand up her inner thigh. He continued a trail of feather light touches up to the zipper on her pants. As he undid them he saw the slightest pink patch of lace.

"Gris, fuck my earlier statement. I want you in your bed. NOW!"

Somehow they managed to get into his townhouse. He carried her to his room and gently laid her on his bed. He took this opportunity to slide her pants down her long legs, leaving her in a, barely there, pink lace thong.

He kissed his way back up her thigh, and trailed his fingers down the lace that was covering her.

"God Sara, you're so wet."

"I…I've…you've always made me wet Gris."

She pushed her hand down to his and encouraged him to enter her.

Grissom felt her need for release, he pushed her thong down and threw it in the rough direction of her pants, he then thrust into her with two fingers.

"Sara……"

"Mmmm……shhhh……..don't talk…..baby…."

Sara didn't want their first time to be about her. She was so close and he was still fully dressed.

"Gris….Gris….I want you inside of me, not your fingers, you."

"Shit Sara, if I had of known this was going to happen I would have been more prepared…"

"I'm on the pill."

That was all he wanted to hear, at least at this moment. He quickly shed his clothes and was hovering over her when he realized that she was still half dressed. He helped her remove her shirt and bra.

"You look beautiful"

"Thanks"

He thrust into her, both needing release. Tonight was for the last three years that he had, in a way, ignored her.

They were both on the edge and with one last thrust they both fell off of it.

Although the song on the radio had long ago ended, Grissom knew that Sara had been, and always would be, his butterfly.

"Sara"

"Hmmm"

"You're my butterfly"

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	2. Her Butterfly

Disclaimer in first chapter

Spoilers: anything up to season four

Authors Note: it has come to my attention that Sara and Gil have to much of a background to just jump into bed together. I hope that this explains everything. Thanks to my reviewer for this chapter. Without your words I probably would have just left it as it was.

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****

"You're my Butterfly"

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Grissom woke up the next morning to an empty bed. His skin still tingled from where Sara had placed hard kisses on him. Just the thought of her naked body made him want her again.

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Sara woke up lying next to Grissom.

'Oh god. What did I do? I came here to talk to him, not fuck him. As soon as he kissed me I-I-I-I just don't know what happened. Actually I do know what happened; I had the best sex of my life.

I can't stay here I have to go.'

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Sara was now sitting at her computer desk. As soon as she got home she wrote Grissom a letter, then logged on to her computer and made reservations for a flight to Canada.

'Shit, I've got to get to work before he gets there, I can't let him see me like this.'

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Grissom walked into his office and found a small envelope on his desk. He opened it and began to read.

Dear Gil,

I remember the first time I fell in love with you. It was about four days into a forensics seminar. You were wearing khaki pants with a blue polo shirt. At first I thought 'great this is just what I need, a crush on my professor.' and then you left. I cried. Can you believe it? My sister thought I was crazy, I had never cried in front of anybody. Since that day you are the only other person I've cried in front of.

Remember that day you told me I shouldn't chase rabbits, and that no victim is special, but then you found that baby. I was so mad at you, but I loved how gentle you were with him, for him. A few months later, when we found that woman in her water tank, I 'brushed chalk off your face'. All I really wanted to do was hold you. Then that case with the twelve year old girl, the one being sexually assaulted by her dad. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had flirted with you for a year! All you did was disrespect me (no it wasn't 'just the hamburger thing') I wanted to leave, just for a little while, sort things out in my head, try to move on, then I got the rose bush and I thought you understood. I came back for you. Then you told me that I was the reason for your interested in beauty, I wanted to kiss you right there on that cold bench. That's when it all seemed to stop. We didn't really work together again until that model that killed herself.

When you found out about hank, you looked so sad; I didn't know what to say. It was the truth when I said that we were only seeing movies together. It only happened once or twice. We were just friends, you didn't believe me, you didn't trust me, and then you went to lady heather. I know that was a while later but it still hurt. Months later, I was being selfish and decided to do something for me. I asked you to dinner, maybe not the best time to ask, but I let myself believe that it was, why? Because you called me 'honey' when we were sitting outside the lab. I fooled myself into thinking you actually cared for me.

Last night was, I don't know, but it wasn't love. It was angry sex and I regret that it wasn't out of love. I was mad. I bet you didn't know that. I don't really know what I'm thinking right now, so before I do something stupid (like sleep with my boss…again) I'm going to take a few days off, a week maybe two. I just don't think I can face you right now. Not yet.

If you need to get a hold of me I'll be in Canada with my sister. Everything you need is in my file. I'll miss you, but I need to think hard about this.

Sara

Xoxoxox

When he was finished reading the letter he let out the breath he had been holding. He was sitting at his desk with a puzzled, hurt look on his face. That's how Catherine found him

"Hey boss, you okay?"

"She's gone"

"Who?"

"Sara. She's in Canada. We spent the night together and when I woke up she was gone. She left me this letter. I don't know what to do"

"Do you love her?"

"Yes I do, but I don't know if I can fix what I've done"

"Well I don't know what to tell you. I can't fix things for you. Why don't you go home and rest. Maybe call her and talk to her"

"Thanks Cath. Are you sure you can handle things tonight? You will be short two people"

"If I need you I can get a hold of you. Don't worry about work, go home and rest"

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Gil drove home to his empty townhouse. He knew she wasn't going to be gone forever, but he felt horrible.

'I should feel like shit. I fucked up, I drove her away. She has every right to leave me.'

He couldn't call her, not yet, so he wrote his own letter.

****

My dearest Sara,

I don't know what to say. I know that I screwed up, and I'm not trying to make excuses. I've been through a lot in my life. I've never told ANYBODY this. During my time in Canada, at that seminar, I was happily married. She was beautiful and smart, and funny. A lot of the time I can almost see her in you. We had a little girl together, her name was Amy. She was my butterfly. I had been back in Vegas for about a week when I got the call. There had been an accident and they didn't survive. I was at work when the call came in. I wanted to die. That was when I started coming into work early and leaving late. I had just lost the love of my life and I never thought I would love again. Then you showed up. When I heard your voice for the first time in years, I knew I loved you. I couldn't let myself get close to you though. I don't think I could stand to lose another love of my life. I would let you get close, but then I would see what I was doing so I would push you away. I had no choice. At least that's what I told myself.

There is something I should tell you; almost a year ago I had surgery. My hearing was going. When I thought I would never be able to hear your voice again I made an appointment. That's why I couldn't go to dinner with you. My mother had it and past it on to me, I gave it to Amy. She never even got to hear my voice. I would love to have children with you but there would be a very good chance that he/she, or they, would inherit it. I know that we would love them to the end of the earth, but I grew up with a 'strange' family. I was always teased as a kid. I don't want that for our kids.

I love you Sara, with all my heart, I want to be with you. Waking up without you was terrifying. I let my walls down when we had sex. I couldn't believe you were gone.

I told Catherine about us, I didn't show her the letter. I am truly sorry for all the pain I have put you through. When you come back we are going to have to talk some things through, and I'm ready for it.

I love you Sara sidle, and I hope with all my being that you love me too. I miss you so much.

LOVE Gil.

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"Grissom"

"Hey"

"Sara?!"

She sounded sad, like she had been crying.

"Yeah, I got your letter. You should've told me Gil. I didn't know. I feel like shit for how I treated you"

"Sara, I wrote that letter to help you understand why I am how I am. I didn't want you to feel sorry for me"

"Well I do. I want to come home and hold you. I know things aren't resolved between us, and it will take time, but I want to work it all out, but only if your ready…….Gil?"

"I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

"I miss you Sara. Your voice, your smell, your touch, how you taste, I miss all of you"

"My smell? I know that I haven't smelt the same since liquid man, but you could've told me"

"Thanks"

"For what?"

"Talking to me, being my friend and my lover"

"I knew"

"What?"

"About your hearing. When you didn't give an explanation for your leave, I cornered her and made her tell me everything"

"Hmm…I would've loved to see that. Why did you do it?"

"I had to see for myself that you were okay."

"I was fine. I want to see you Sara."

"Turn around"

"What??"

"You heard me"

When he turned in his chair he saw her, standing tall and confident at his door.

"When……"

"I got your letter the other day, with the help of FEDEX. I caught the first flight to Vegas that I could get. I made Catherine promise not to tell you that I was coming back. I just got in an hour ago."

He rushed over to her and held her.

"God Sara, I love you, and I do trust you, and respect you."

"I know you do. I was just angry, at myself and you. It still hurts but I want it to be okay. Will we be okay?"

TBC?


	3. Their Butterfly

Disclaimer: In chapter one.

Warning: Some language. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Authors Note: sorry that it took so long to get this chapter out. I had a couple tests at school. I hope you enjoy it. Another chapter should be up soon.

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"Shit! Fuck! This can't be happening."

Sara was sitting in her bathroom staring at a positive pregnancy test. She had only been back for two weeks, which made her three weeks pregnant. She had never missed a period so when it was three days late she went to the store and bought a test.

Things between Sara and Gil were still a little sore. They had talked for hours the day she got back, but there were still some open wounds.

'How the fuck am I going to tell him? I mean his letter made it pretty clear that he couldn't commit to me. I know he loves me, and I love him, but things will just get worse with a baby around. Maybe I shouldn't tell him, I could move back to Canada with my sister and get a job in criminalistics. No I can't do that to him, he has a right to know.'

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Gil was sitting on his couch watching a baseball game when the doorbell rang.

"Sara? What are you doing here?"

Sara had always been a right to the point kind of person so she just said it.

"I'm pregnant…I'm sorry I shouldn't have come here."

When she turned to leave Grissom grabbed her arm.

"No Sara, I'm sorry. I took advantage of you that night. I regret that, but I don't regret that we created something that night. You don't look so good, why don't we go sit."

"I don't know what to do. I hate being vulnerable. When I looked at that test, I didn't feel anything but regret. Then I thought about you. You can't commit to me and I understand...I do. I can't be a single parent Gil. I'm not going to push you into something you can't handle, I won't have an abortion, but I don't think I can keep it."

"Then why did you come here? You know that I love you, and I do want to commit myself to you, I'm just not ready yet. I would love to have children with you, I told you that. If your just going to throw this all away then WHY did you COME HERE?"

He knew that Sara was right, he was afraid to commit, but he lost his family once, he wasn't going to let that happen again.

"I think I should go. I'll be at work tonight, maybe by then I'll be a little more rational. I do love you, I know its beginning to sound tired, but I do. Just give me some time. God knows I've given you enough."

"I'm sorry Sara"

She stood and walked out of his townhouse. She had just made it to her car when a wave of nausea hit her.

Gil was standing at his kitchen window when he saw Sara grab her stomach and double over. He ran out to her and, with much refusal on her part, led her back inside.

"I'm fine Gil, I just need to go home and sleep a little."

"No Sara. You're staying here, and not going to work."

He led her to his room for the second time in a month. She was hot and pale. He left the room to get a wet, cold, washcloth. When he returned, Sara had already fallen asleep. He put the cloth on her head and gave her a quick little kiss.

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When Sara woke up she felt like a brick wall had hit her, she hurt all over. Then she noticed that she wasn't at home in her bed, and all the memories of the past day hit her. She ran to the bathroom and threw up.

A few minutes later Gil walked into the bathroom with a glass of apple juice, aspirin, and a toothbrush.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work? You remembered." For the first time that day she smiled.

"I'm not going to make that mistake twice. No water with pills. I stopped in at work for a few minutes. I left shift with Catherine. I wanted to be here in case you needed me."

"God, I don't think I've thrown up this much since liquid man…..o god why did I say that."

There was nothing in her stomach to throw up. She was just dry heaving and It hurt like a bitch.

"What did you say about both of us not being there?"

"I told her the truth. I said that you were sick and that I needed to be here for you. She won't tell anybody. Then I went to the store and got you some pills and apple juice and a toothbrush, to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth."

At the look on her face Gil cringed

"Sorry"

"Thanks, I do feel better. I don't think I've slept that good since I slept with you….shit now I'm sorry."

"I haven't been sleeping well either…um…you still look tired, why don't you lie back down. I'll be in the living room if you need anything. If you want you can shower first. I can find you something to wear that would be better to sleep in."

Sara was glad that Gil was there with her, for her. She was happy that he was trying to respect her privacy and space, even if she was in his house, in his space. It was one of the things they had talked about when she came back.

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She showered quickly and threw on the boxers and t-shirt that Gil had left on the bed.

She walked out to the living room and found Gil sitting on his couch reading a forensic magazine.

"As I recall, you said that you would get me on their mailing list."

When he looked up, confused, Sara pointed to the magazine and laughed.

"Oh yeah.… I …uh…forgot. Was there something you needed?"

"Do you want to sleep with me? Just sleep. I just want you to hold me for a while."

"If that's what you want Sara."

"I want you Gil, ALL of you, but having you with me while I sleep will have to do for now."

They lay down on his bed and Sara scooted her back against his warm chest. Together they fell into a restful sleep.

TBC?


	4. Caterpillar

Authors note: This chapter came to me after I found out that my little sister stole my favorite shirt. There is a lot of language, but it's just how I felt. Enjoy!

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"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! My fucking shirt is missing!"

"Sara you need to calm down. Where was the last place you had it?"

"I came home….took it off….then I, uh…I threw it on the couch….then my….that little bitch! My sister came by yesterday. She fucking took it….stupid bitch."

"Which one was it?"

"Your favorite one. Long, black, very see threw…."

"That little bitch!"

Sara turned around and gave Gil a lopsided grin. He walked over to her and wrapped her in a big hug. They stayed like that until Sara pulled away slightly.

"I'm sorry babe. I know I've been a little cranky lately…"

"A little?"

"Hey." Sara slapped Gil across the chest and giggled. "At least I've got it pretty under control around you. You should take a look at my journal.

Hey Gil, would you mind if we stayed in tonight. I'm a little tired and I'm still kind of sick to my stomach. I don't want to eat all fancy just to throw it up again later."

"I understand. Why don't you jump in the shower? I'll make us some lemon chicken pasta."

"Mmm…I love you. You are so good to me. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Sara stood naked in front of the full length mirror. She was only four months pregnant. She wasn't big, but knew that in the next two months she would double in size.

She quickly showered, and walked into the kitchen. The table was set for two. Gil had even set out the candles. Sara sat as quietly as she could, and waited for Gil to turn around.

"Good god Sara"

"Hmm…is dinner ready? I'm really hungry. You know Gil; it's not really nice to stare."

Gil turned around from the stove. He knew that Sara was in the room. Every time she entered a room the air would take on her scent. When he turned around all he saw was Sara. She was sitting at the table clad in a green lace bra. Her long legs were under the table but he could still see the matching thong.

When he still didn't move Sara got up and walked over to him. He hadn't even noticed that she was a good three inches taller than usual, until she was standing right in front of him.

Sara knew that the lace-up sandals were bad for her back, but she thought, just for tonight, she would do it for him.

"God Sara, I think I just lost my food appetite. Can I just take you to bed and eat you?"

"Mmm…tempting as that sounds, I need to eat or the little cocooned pillar here, will never let me forget it. Then we have to get ready and go to work."

"You are such a tease Sara."

"But you love me for it."

Two hours later they were dressed and heading out the door, to their separate Tahoe's.

"Sara, I think tonight is the night. I want to tell them about us, and the baby."

"I don't know Gil. We could still get in a lot of trouble for what were doing, especially since we kept it hidden for so long. I'm not showing that much yet, nobody at work has said anything…."

"I just think that since were…you are….past the first trimester, we should tell everyone. You're going on maternity leave soon and with any luck, by the time you come back they won't have a right to say anything to us, and by they…I mean the sheriff."

"Did you just propose to me?"

"Uh…" judging by the look on her face, the innocent comment he made may have been inappropriate. After much hesitation, he finally answered. "No…"

"Good. Tell the guys anything you want. In the mean time, I'm going to work."

'Just great. Now I put her in a bad mood.'

XxXxXxXx

Sara got to the break room twenty minutes before Grissom. She wasn't really mad at him, in fact she quite the opposite. When she had gotten ready for work, she didn't change out of her 'sexy' underwear. Instead she was sporting a very tight short skirt and a small button-up shirt, with the top few buttons left undone. She had also decided to keep her sandals on.

'God I hope he keeps me here tonight. I can't wear this in public. I look like a hooker.

"Wow Sara, you look….HOT"

"Thanks Nicky. I had a hot date. Kind of ran late, if you know what I mean."

That was the moment that Grissom and Catherine strolled into the room. As hard as Gil tried, he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"You know what; Sara looks hot tonight, and happy. You really should close your mouth before drool starts to dribble down your chin."

"Hm…okay, so Catherine, nick and Warrick. There's only one case tonight, so either you fight over it or you all go. Good luck."

He hadn't said one word to Sara. He turned and left the break room, heading straight for his office.

After the rest of the gang had left, Sara went straight to Gil's office. Now she stood just outside the door. Gil kind of sounded like he was mumbling, but Sara knew what was really going on, and dammed if she wasn't turned on.

She put the key in the lock and tried to make as little noise as possible.

Grissom's 'spidey sense' told him that Sara was trying to get in to his office. He turned in his chair so he was facing the door when she walked through.

Sara sauntered over to his desk, put her hands down and leaned in. he could see down her shirt. The green lace was hugging her breasts, and just past them was her stomach. From this view, he could see how much it had grown. She kissed his lips and he came, hard in his hand. He had never brought himself off while kissing someone, definitely not in front of someone. It was an amazing feeling.

"God Sara, do you know what you do to me? At breakfast, you sat across from me in that sexy thing I bought you, and then you were pissed when we left this morning, and now you're wearing almost nothing. I should be really jealous but all I want to do is fuck you right here on my desk."

"I wasn't mad at you, really, just kind of disappointed. No girl wants to be proposed to like that. I do want to marry you Gil, but I just want it to be perfect, you know. Oh, just in case you're thinking of a ring, I don't like gold. It doesn't look good on me."

She turned and walked to his office door when he called her.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I have got to change out of these damn shoes. My back is killing me. I'll be back in an hour, you know where to find me if you need me. Love you. Oh and you might want to tidy up a little, just incase someone decides they NEED to talk to you."

He smiled to himself as she walked out of his office.

'God she's beautiful, evil, but beautiful. I love every inch of her evil little soul.'

XxXxXxXxXx

"I've got nothing Cath. Would you mind if I stepped out for a second, I just need to regroup."

"You don't have to tell me twice. This case just gets more frustrating every time I turn around. Nick is just upstairs if I need anything."

"Thank you"

Warrick walked to where Catherine was standing and kissed her.

"Maybe later tonight you could come by my place and I could make you breakfast."

"You're being brave. Nick is just upstairs."

"Yep. It's just the two of us down here."

"Tempting as your offer sounds, Lindsey is at home with me. I have tomorrow off so I thought we could spend the day together."

"Hmm…maybe I could stop by your place and make breakfast."

"Sounds good. So….when do you think they're gonna tell us about the baby?"

"Who? Gris and Sara? Probably not until she's like nine months pregnant, and he comes in one day and says 'hey I'm a daddy'"

"I love you Rick"

"Love you too. I'll be back soon."


	5. Two Butterflies?

Authors note: don't know a lot about complications with twin births. Don't know if this can really happen. Anyways, hope you enjoy. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed.

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People had begun to notice Sara's changing physique, but no one dared say anything in fear that Grissom, or Sara, would rip them a new one.

They also noticed that Sara and Gil had been on edge, as with the Sara thing, they didn't want to say anything, they knew that all would be shared in time, and now was that time. Grissom and Sara walked into the break room, Sara's eyes were puffy and red and Gil held a protective arm on their baby.

Catherine was the first to speak up. "Sara, sweetheart, what's wrong?" and when she stood to offer some kind of support Gil shot her a look that sent ice through her veins.

"I want everyone to sit and listen, that includes you Greg, and you Brass. Listen well because I'm only going to say this once, and it never leaves this room." at their nods he continued. "As I'm sure you all have noticed, Sara has gained some…weight. To answer your impending question, yes she is pregnant and yes it is mine. Now for the reason of this rush meeting; Sara and I have been on edge lately and more than slightly cranky. Sara's mom was diagnosed with cancer a while back and started aggressive treatment. It seems she took a turn for the worst, physically. The cancer appears to be clear but at her age the treatment was rough. Neither one of us has been sleeping well, waiting to hear some good news. I'm putting Sara on a plane in about two hours. I know that I didn't have to tell you this but you are our friends, we thought you should know. Catherine I'm giving you shift tonight."

"NO!"

"What?"

"Sara needs you right now, look at her, she's a mess… no offence…she needs you to be with her now. You are getting on that flight with her. The boys and I can handle things here for a few days."

"Thanks Cath, but the reason it's just Sara is because she was going to go on maternity leave. We don't know how long she's going to be gone."

"Gil, don't be stupid. We can handle things here for a few weeks if need be. If we have any problems I'll contact you."

"Thanks guys" Sara was so quiet that the team thought they had heard wrong, until she walked up to Catherine and wrapped her arms around her neck. "Catherine, I know that we haven't been the best of friends, but I always considered you a girlfriend." and as an afterthought "I hope that you and Warrick have more luck than Gil and I seem to be having…"

Catherine blushed. "Sara, sweetheart, you're both going to be fine. Now go, take as long as you need, we can handle things here."

XxXxXxXxXx

When they finally arrived at the hospital Sara's mom was sleeping, they sat with her for a few hours until the doctor came in and said it was time to go. Then they headed to Sara's sisters house, where they would be staying until things blew over.

"Babe I'm really tired, I just want to sleep forever."

Sara placed her head on his lap, and laid down on the couch.

"I love you Sara. You're being so strong for your mom and I know that you're breaking apart inside. I just want you to know how much I love you."

"I love you too Gil"

Gil had just let his head fall back when he felt Sara shift and grab her stomach, and then she screamed.

"Baby what's wrong?"

"It hurts Gil, it fucking hurts. Something is wrong."

Gil reached for the phone on the coffee table and called for an ambulance. When it arrived five minutes later, Sara was in tears. They took Sara to Foothills Hospital. Gil wasn't allowed to be with her during the emergency c-section. He sat in the waiting room for what felt like hours, until a doctor finally came out.

"Mr. Grissom?"

"That's me. How is she? When can I see her and my baby?"

"She is doing fine, and the babies are fine. It appears that one of the babies was pressed against her spine. Your wife is pretty out of it right now, but she's asking for you."

Gil, in a state of stress, hadn't noticed that the doctor had mentioned two babies, since he and Sara had only been expecting one. Gil stopped outside her door and turned to the doctor.

"When can I see my baby?"

"We have taken them to NCIU. As soon as they have been Okayed one of the nurses will come get you."

When he finally walked into her room, what he saw shocked him. Sara looked terrified.

"Have you seen them Gil? They won't let me see my babies. Why won't they let me see them?"

Her voice was panicked. It wasn't until Gil heard the words come out of her mouth that everything the doctor said had made sense.

The doctor told them that this sort of thing happened with multiple pregnancies, and they most likely would have found baby number two at the next doctor's appointment. He also said that if Sara hadn't gone into labor when she did there would have been far worse complications.

"So what did we have?"

"A boy and a girl. She's going to be a handful, little devil was sitting in my spine…somehow?"

"What do they weigh?"

Just then the door was opened and a nurse walked in with the babies wrapped in blankets.

"The boy is a healthy seven pounds, and your girl is just five pounds."

Gil took the little girl from the nurse and she passed the boy to Sara.

"She's so little." big fat tears made their way down his cheeks as he looked at his little girl for the first time.

"We need names babe. Kind of silly that we thought we weren't going to be parents for a while."

"How 'bout HOPE ANGELGRISSOM"

"It's beautiful Gil. I like JOHNATHON MICHAEL GRISSOM"

"I love you"

"I love you. When can we go home?"

"Within the next forty eight hours Sara and the twins will be released. Until then you may stay with her as long as you wish, just let her get her sleep."

"Thank you doctor for everything that you've done."

As soon as the doctor left and all instructions had been given on breast feeding and diaper changing, Sara drifted off to sleep, content that her children and lover were safe. Gil stood and watched his new family; an easy sigh escaped his lips as he thought of how different things were going to be.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

I know I didn't really talk a lot about the whole mom thing but its coming…if you want it.

TBC?


	6. Getting Reaquainted

Authors Note: Wow I had total writers block there for a while. Sorry it took so log to get this chapter up, but here it is. ENJOY.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

She was cold and alone. The four walls surrounding her were suffocating. Suddenly she was standing in the center of the twin's room. She could hear them crying for her, but she couldn't see them. The floor was covered in a thick layer of crimson liquid. In the corner of the room was their rocking chair, its back facing her. As she rounded the chair, Gil's blood stained face came into view. She was crying and screaming now but there was no one there to help her.

Sara sat bolt right up in bed. The sudden shifting caused Gil to wake with a start. He hadn't heard the twins so he didn't know why Sara was up. She wasn't moving, just staring straight ahead at the wall. Seeing the panicked look in her eyes he began to gently rub her back, but at her flinch he quickly pulled his hand away.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Her sobbing stopped her from replying right away.

"I was in a room…it turned into the twin's room. There was blood, I guess, all over the carpet…I saw the rocking chair and I went to it. It was you…covered in blood…they were crying…I couldn't get to them…you were ….oh GOD!"

Gil wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

The twins were almost four months old now. Sara had stayed in Canada until the doctor said that it was safe for Hope and John to fly. It was two months before Sara was back at home with Gil.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"I'm sorry about your mom."

"I miss her ya know. I guess I'm just scared that I'll lose you and the kids too. Go back to sleep okay. I'm going to go sit with the twins for a while."

Gil was worried for Sara. Since her mom passed away Sara had had nightmares every night, and they were getting progressively worse. She wouldn't let herself be happy, sex was a foreign word, and Gil was starting to get cranky.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Morning brought a new a day, and hopefully a better one than the last.

Gil got up and got ready for work. On his way out the front door he stopped at the twin's room. Sara was asleep in the rocking chair, one hand resting on each crib. His heart broke thinking that the only time she slept anymore was when she was sitting with their kids.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

'I used to do that to her. I keep telling myself that just a little more space and time will be good for her. She's just sinking farther into the black abyss. I feel that I can't do anything to help her out.'

"Things will work out for you Gil"

"What?!"

"You tend to mumble when you're thinking too hard. Tell ya what, Lindsey and I will take the twins for a few hours. Take her out to dinner; hold her, fight with her…fuck her…"

"Cath…"

"Just…maybe spend some time with her instead of giving her so much space okay?"

"Cath that sounds GREAT, really, but I don't think she'll leave them. I don't even remember the last time I held either of them. She feels guilty for being so happy that night she had them."

"The night her mom died?"

"Yeah"

"Let me talk to her. I'll stop by now. I'm not busy and if anything comes in you can call me."

"Yeah okay…hey, how are things with you and Warrick?"

"Good. I'm sleeping better with Warrick here. Lindsey's little snit the other day scared me a lot and I cant help but think that she feels like I'm trying to replace her father."

And…are you?"

"Well yes and no. Eddie was a great father to her, she misses him. I'm not trying to replace that. I feel safe and loved with Warrick. It's just going to take some getting used too. Look my problems are just that, MINE. I'll go see what I can do about Sara."

"Shouldn't my problems be mine?"

"Not when they're affecting you at work. You sit in here every shift and think about what you did wrong. You didn't do anything wrong Gil."

Catherine walked out the door. Leaving Gil to think about what she said.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Sara was tidying up around the house when the doorbell rang. She cringed when Hope and John started screaming.

"Catherine you woke up the twins. I JUST got them to sleep!"

"Sorry. I'll help put them back to sleep but then we need to talk."

"Did Gil send you here?"

"No. I was worried about you, we all are. Grissom hasn't come out of his office in almost a month. I don't know the extent of what's going on here, but I do know that it revolves around your mom and the fact that you're a new mom. I want to take the kids for a few hours so you and Gil can have some alone time, to talk or fight or fuck…, whatever you need to do. Like I said, I don't really know what's going on with the two of you, but you need some time together."

"We haven't had sex in almost five months. It's my fault really. I've been tired and trying to cope with everything. I know that it has been four months since my mom passed but every time I look at the twins I start to cry, she didn't even get to see them. You know he proposed to me. About a month ago I went out for diapers, I came home and the kids were asleep and there were candles everywhere. It's the second time that I've turned him down. Apparently that's about the time that he started hiding out in his office. We need to talk."

"Is tomorrow too soon? He's got the night off."

"Sure…shouldn't you answer your phone, it could be work."

"Willows…hmmm…yea…okay. It's for you."

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry."

Sara smiled at Gils attempt to cheer her up.

"So Catherine told me that you were free tomorrow. I was thinking maybe we could go to a movie, maybe dinner after. I love you Gil."

"That sounds nice. I miss you. I feel like we haven't seen each other in days."

"It's my fault, oh god I'm going to cry."

"Don't cry, because if you do then I will and I'm already getting funny looks from the guys. How are the twins?"

"Hopes been a little fussy, her ears are bothering her again. John is missing his daddy. Maybe I'll let you hold them when you get home tonight. I gotta go, time to change the twins. Come home tonight okay. Please."

"Could you give Cath the phone?"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Half an hour later the twins were changed, fed and sleeping. Gil quietly walked into the house. He found Sara fast asleep on the couch. It looked like she had been doing the laundry and then Done Fell Over. He finished putting the laundry away and woke his sleeping beauty.

"Hmmm…Gil? What time is it?"

"It's just after one. You sounded like you needed me so I came home early and sent Catherine to my location."

"I know that I have been acting…strange lately, and I know how much it seems to be affecting you. It has just been really hard but it's better now. I promise."

"Are you pregnant?"

"What!? NO! We haven't had sex in five months and I'm on the pill."

"Last time you told me you were on the pill you ended up pregnant."

"It all worked out though didn't it?"

"Yeah. I love you Sara."

"Gil, about the other night…"

"That was the second time I asked you to marry me. I don't think my ego could take anymore abuse."

"I was wondering if maybe you'd still want to be my husband."

"Why Sara Sidle, did you just propose to me?"

Sara lowered her head in embarrassment. "Yes" was said just above a whisper. Gil reached his hands out to cup her face and bring it up so she was looking at him.

"Yes" was all he said. Her whole face lit up at his word.

"Really?"

"I knew you would come to me when you were ready, although I thought we would just talk about it and I would ask you again, but this way works too."

"Now, will you take me to bed sir? I believe we need to be reacquainted."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

TBC?


	7. Sexed Up

Sorry for the short chapter. If I decide to do a wedding it will be good I promise.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

For the first time in months Sara slept through the night, minus the feedings. Nearing close to twelve hours of sleep Gil decided to head upstairs and wake his sleeping beauty.

Somehow Sara had managed to toss off all her covers. She was now lying on her back looking all sexed up.

Gil gently kissed up her leg to her inner thigh and made his way down the other, skipping past her most sensitive part. Her soft moaning encouraged him to continue. He removed his robe and crawled on the bed, trying not to wake her. Kneeling over her body, he took one nipple into his mouth suckling gently. Since she was still breastfeeding her juices leaked into his mouth. Feeling more than excited he pushed his knee into her center. When she started grinding onto him, he kissed her mouth hard.

"You brushed your teeth!"

"I woke up half an hour ago. I was waiting for you to come get me."

"You little devil. Here I was thinking you were as innocent as a butterfly. You really are the devil."

"If you think I'm innocent then you never really knew me, now get your ass over here and finish what you started."

"My little sex goddess is back"

"Little…not yet, sex goddess…definitely. I can't believe I went that long without your long hard…."

"Sara if you keep rubbing my long hard….I'm not going to last."

"Why are the twins being so good?"

"Catherine is with them right now."

"What!? I am NOT having sex with her in the house. "

"You aren't going to get out of it that easily. You said I had to finish what I started, same goes for you."

Sara looked into his eyes and saw how much he needed release. She knew that if she looked into a mirror she would have the same look in her eyes.

He thrust into her and everything went blank. She tilted her hips with a little twist and cried out in pleasure. Her move was intended for him but boy did she feel it. Gil smiled and continued to thrust deep into her.

When she closed her eyes, Gil reached for the night stand, unintentionally causing more pleasure.

As soon as she felt the vibrating on her clit she was lost. She bit down on Gils shoulder as she came loud and hard.

"Mmmm….what was that?"

"I went shopping. I saw you looking at it before you had the twins. I thought we would use it when we came home but I never got the chance till now. "

"That was amazing!"

"I don't think you've ever clamped down that hard on me, on either end. It was amazing."

Sara gave Gil a lazy smile as she moved to get dressed.

"We should go rescue Catherine before the twins give her a breakdown."

"Lindsey and Cath are taking the kids for the rest of the day. I actually came up her to get you so you could say good-bye."

"I thought Lindsey was sleeping over? Oh god don't tell me she was in the house too?"

"No she's in the car, waiting for us. Cath thought it would be good to get her out of the house and out of trouble."

"Well we should get our asses down there before Catherine sends a search party."

Xoxoxoxoxox

"Are you bleeding Gil? Those look like teeth marks."

"Hey Cath if that grin gets any bigger your face is going to shatter."

"Hmm…do you still need me to take the twins?"

"If you don't mind. Some quiet time would be nice."

"Well maybe we should take you out of the house Sara. If the whole of Las Vegas wasn't awake it sure is now." The shit eating grin was going to be plastered to Catharine's face for the rest of the day. At least she was only on the phone when Gil caught them together. This was going to be fun.

"That was NOT my fault. I told Gil not with you in the house, and I was being good until he brought out his new toy."

"STOP! More than I need to know. I'm just glad that everything worked out for the two of you."

"Not to change the subject or anything, but how are things between you and Warrick?"

"Like I told Gil, things between us are good; it's Lindsey that I'm not sure about."

"Maybe I could take her shopping one day. Does she have any time off school coming up?"

"I'll check and give you a call. She misses Auntie Sara, and the twins."

"I'm guessing that Gil gave you the third degree on the twins so I won't go there. Have fun and don't forget to call me."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"So what do you want to do for the rest of the night?"

"You."

"That can be arranged Gil, I'm not going anywhere."

Xoxoxoxoxoxox

TBC?


	8. Conrad Ecklie

"What's with the 911 Brass? Gil and I just put the twins down and were just about to go to sleep ourselves."

"A neighbor found Conrad Ecklie's body about half an hour ago. This is a high profile case the press is gonna be all over this."

"I understand the importance of this, but why did we get called in? Most of us at the crime lab would have loved to see that bastard die."

"I really don't know Sara. There is going to be a complete investigation into the happenings of last night. Since both night shift and day shift have ample motive to want Ecklie dead. The sherif is not happy that he has had to call for help from Miami. Horatio and Calleigh are being flown in as we speak. They will be doing the internal investigation. Normally in a situation like this you would all be put on leave, however our beautiful city never sleeps and people are still dying of unnatural causes. None of you are to have ANYTHING to do with the investigation of Mr. Conrad Ecklie. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir." Came from the six shocked CSI's standing in the break room.

* * *

A half hour after hearing the news, the team from Miami showed up. They were directed to go straight to the crime scene and not to interact with any of the suspects, and until cleared, the whole night and day shift staff were prime suspects.

Horatio Caine was first in the house, Calleigh and Alexx following closely behind. The smell of liquid copper assaulted their senses. As they made their way into the livingroom a scary sight met them, nothing that they hadn't seen before, but none the less disheartening.

The walls were covered with brain matter and lots of blood. On the floor lay a mangled ex-CSI. The body was slumped over the couch in a position that, if alive, would be impossible. Until Alexx could better examine the body she could not, for certain, say the cause of death, although it appeared to be the hole in the poor mans head.

Alexx went with the body back to the Las Vegas mourge where she would be able to take a closer look at it. Horatio and Calleigh stayed behind at the crime scene to begin processing.

* * *

Back at CSI:

"I have some bad news. It looks like there's going to be an IAB investigation. As Gil already stated earlier, you all have motive. However IAB only want to see Gil, Sara, and Catherine. I don't know why they singled out you three, all I know is that they want you back here right at the beginning of shift. I want you three to go home, sleep and get your stories straight for tomorrow."

* * *

"Mrs. Sidle, where were you between 8am and 2pm?"

"I was at home with my twins."

"Can anyone verify that?"

"My fiancé, Gil Grissom."

"Okay. Tell me about Conrad Ecklie."

"What about him?"

"How did you feel about him?"

"He was a jerk. When he found out that Gil and I were engaged he freaked. He dug up my records saw that I had a DUI a while back and tried to get me fired. It would have just been his way of splitting Gil and I up. He was jealous that I wasn't with his sorry ass."

"So you work with your fiancé then?"

"Yes, and believe me there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. We contacted all the right people."

"Thanks for your time Mrs. Sidle. Would you please send in Mr. Grissom."

* * *

"Mr. Grissom, where were you between 8am and 2pm?"

"After shift was over I took my fiancé home. We were home for about three hours when we noticed that Hope had a fever. I went to the drug store and got some baby tylenol for her. When she finally setteled down we put the twins to bed. We then attempted to get some sleep ourselves but we got called out to the crime scene."

"I'm sure you have receipts for that?"

"Yes."

"Could you tell me about your relationship with Conrad Ecklie."

"Well, we've never really gotten along. When I brought Mrs. Sidle here, he began to harass her. She came to me and we filed a formal complaint. After Sara and I began to date, he became irrational. He would come to me while I was working and harass me about our relationship and what he would do if he became director. I was actually really surprised when he didn't split us up."

"That's all, could you send in Ms. Willows."

* * *

"Ms. Willows, where were you between 8am and 2pm?"

"I was at my daughters Christmas play. She was the angel. I have the tape if you'd like to see it."

"That would be helpful. Could you tell me about Conrad."

"He was an ass. I had applied for the position of Day Shift Supervisor, so I could spend more time with my little girl, and what does he do? He gave me fucking swing shift. I haven't seen Lindsey in a week. Her play was the first time I'd seen her."

"That'll be all for now."

* * *

Horatio and Calleigh spent the better part of the night lifting prints and looking in every nook and cranny for any evidence that would clear their friends. Although they were supposed to be objective, they didn't want to believe that one of them could do this.

"BINGO!"

"What did you find Calleigh?"

"Oh nothing, just the murder weapon."

Her southern drawl always melted his bones, he couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "Well I do believe that we have all we need for now. Lets head back to the lab and get all this sorted out."

"Even if we get back in the next five minutes this stuff could take weeks to process H."

"Think of it this was Cal, we get a little vacation from the Miami sun." A smirk tugged at his lips.

"A vacation from the Miami sun, only to be replaced by the Las Vegas sun. I can't think of a vacation while my friends are being accused of murder. Besides, my initial thought, this is a cirme of passion. As far as we know, Sara and Gil are getting married and Catherine is pregnant with Warrick's baby. I just don't see it."

"I know but we have to stay objective. I'm gonna head over to the mourge after we take in the evidence. Then I want you to go to the hotel and get some sleep. It's already way past our bed time. You can work the gun tomorrow okay? Something to look forward to when you wake up in the morning. Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky with the prints and won't need the DNA to nail this bastard."


	9. Sofia Curtis

Horatio walked over to Alexx. Her prelim was complete and she had determined that COD was the gunshot wound through the right temple. She also concluded that it was not elf-infliced, although very close to looking so.

"Hey Alexx, what can you tell me?"

"I don't know if this guy deserved it of not, but he was tortured. I counted over fifty knife wounds to his upper chest. Not a lot of room for that many cuts but someone was determined. Someone wanted him to suffer. That's all he has to say."

"Thank you Alexx."

* * *

Back at CSI Calleigh was checking up on finger prints and working with ballistics to determine if this gun was in fact the murder weapon.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

A shot rang through the insulated room. Calleigh pulled the bullet from the water and went to compare it with the bullet that had been taken out of Conrad Ecklie's head.

"It's a match. Yes. I am one step closer."

Just when she thought her day couldn't get any better, the computer began to beep, indicating a match on the print she recovered from the gun.

* * *

"H, I found it!"

"Found what?"

"I matched the bullet from the gun to the bullet from the vic, then I matched a print from the gun and the crime scene to a certain Sofia Curtis."

* * *

"Mrs. Curtis, what were you doing at the victims home?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"We found a gun under his bed. We also found your prints on the gun."

"Fuck! I knew I should have taken it home with me."

"What was that?"

"I loved him, and what did he do to me? He demoted me. He FUCKING demoted me! I worked my ass off for him, he couldn't even bring himself to tell me he loved me after we had sex."

"Mrs. Curtis you are hereby being charged with the murder of Conrad Ecklie."

* * *

As her Miranda rights were being read to her Sara and Gil watched from the observation room.

"I can't believe she did it. I welcomed her into our home, with our kids."

"Sara, thank you."

"For what?"

"For being patient with me. I'm glad that you didn't hate me enough to kill me."

"I do love you, but believe me there were some days when I was very tempted to do something to you, of course it mostly involved tying you to my bed and keeping you there as my sex slave."

"You should have. I would have enjoyed it. Thank you though for being patient and letting me come to terms with my demons. If it weren't for that night I would probably be the one on the slab."

"I love you too much."

"And I love you more than you will ever know."

"What does this mean?"

This is what Gil loved so much about Sara, one minute they were letting their hearts bleed and the next Sara was back into work mode.

"Well, I suppose this means that there are some new positions to be filled. We're going to need a new director and then a new shift supervisor for whatever shift they decide to take from."

"Do you think that they'll ask you?"

"They already did."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"So who gets night shift?"

"You do. I'm giving Catherine Days. I'm calling in a favor from Canada for someone for Swing Shift."

"The boy's will be working for?"

"Nick will be working with Catherine and Greg and Warrick will be working for you. This way Cath and Rick can do as they please and I'm sure that my friend from Canada will want a piece of Nick."

"So you're playing match maker now?"

"I just want everyone to be happy."

TBC?

This chapter kindof sucked. I wanted to wrap up some loose ends so I could get back to Gil and Sara. I still have a wedding to PLAN!!!!!!!!


	10. Wedding Day

Today was the day she had been waiting for. December 16th, her wedding day.

After Sofia was charged with Ecklie's murder, Sara and Gil decided to go ahead with the original date that they had planned on for the wedding. It was only two weeks after she had been charged but they wanted to keep some kind of normalcy in their lives. Their engagement had already gon on for to long.

Sara sat in her dressing room at the Rampart. Sam had given them a deal on the rooms. With her were her sister Krystal (Maid of Honor), along with Catherine and Lindsey (Brides Maids) and her little angel, Hope.

"Are you nervous auntie Sara?"

"No. Do you think that its weird that I'm not worried about this?"

"I think its great that you're not nervous. Think of it this way, at least you wont throw up on him when you get to him, right."

"If I did it wouldn't be from cold feet."

"You're pregnant?"

"We decided to go off the pill. Since I had the twins it has been making me really sick."

Warrick walked in on the last part of the conversation. "Well, at least Gil isn't the only one getting sick."

"He's sick? I have to go to him. Gil Grissom does not get sick!"

"You can't Sara. It's a rule, he can't see you on the wedding day."

"I don't care Catherine. He needs me and I'm going to him. Oh, could you not mention what we just talked about. I don't want Gil to know yet. That goes for you too Lindsey."

XOXOXOXOXOX

Gil was sitting on the bathroom floor with his back resting on the bathtub. When he looked up and saw Sara he found his face back in the toilet bowl. Sara just sat there and rubbed his back until he sat back up.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. All morning I was in a kind of daze. After I got my pants and shirt on it all kind of hit me and I just started throwing up."

"Here, brush you're teeth and I'll get you some soda crackers. They helped a lot with mymorning sickness."

"Thanks"

Five minutes later Sara re-entered the bathroom.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?"

Sara looked down and realized that she was only wearing her slip. Laughing she said "oh god. I was so worried about you that I didn't even notice. Catherine tried to tell me to put something on but I just ran out of the room. Hey where's John?"

"I told Nick and Greg to take him for a walk. I know he wont remember this but I didn't want him to see daddy like this."

"I love you babe. Do you feel any better?"

"I actually do. Seeing you so calm has helped a lot. You look beautiful."

Nick and Greg walked back into the room, not expecting to see Sara, especailly not the way she was dressed.

"Are we interrupting something?"

Sara looked at her slip again. "No Nick. Warrick came to my room and said that Gil was sick. I just came to make him feel better"

"I'm sure you did!"

"Shut up Greg!" came from both people on the floor.

"Where is my baby?"

"He fell asleep when we were walking around. I put him in the playpen."

"Okay. I'm gonna go back to my room and finish getting ready. I love you Gil, feel better soon okay. No more getting sick."

"I love you too." Gil leaned up and gave Sara aquick kiss.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

"How is he?"

"Better now that we talked. I am a little embarrassed though. I can't believe that I went down two floors in nothing but a slip and a lot of make-up. I probably looked like a hooker!"

"Did you tell him?"

"I think I'll wait till were at home. That way if he needs to get sick at least he'll be at home. Anyways, we have a wedding to get ready for!"

XOXOXOXOXOX

An hour later Gil was standing with Warrick, Nick, Greg, and Brass by his side.he was staring at the big oak doors that seperated him from Sara, as they oppened. Krystal, followed by Catherine, and Lindsey, who was pulling a small wagon down the aisle with the twins in it.

As the wedding march started to play Gil felt like pissing his pants, then he saw Sara. Her gown was fitted to the waist and fell from there to the ground like a weeping willow's branches fall. Her hair was pinned up and her Vail fell perfectly to her waist. He thought to himself that if there weren't so many people he would love to jump her right there and take her on the floor. It was a good thing that his hands were hanging in front of...well his _thing._

XOXOXOXOXOX

The ceremony went on without a problem. They were officially married now.

The reception was being held at the Grissom house. In the backyard a small stage and dance floor had been set up. As the music played in the background Sara and Gil swayed along with the music.

They had been dancing for a while when Sara whispered in Gil's ear "I'm pregnant!" when she pulled away to look at his face her smile faded.

Gil stopped moving and just stared at her. People were starting to stare at them.

"What!?" It was barely a whisper but Sara heard it.

"I'm only six weeks along."

"Sara, can we go talk about this somewhere more private?"

"Sure" She turned to her friends and excused herself and Gil.

Up in their room away from prying ears, and eyes, Gil paced the floor.

"Gris, talk to me. What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy."

"Sara....you just got back to work. Now you're going to be back on desk duty, and then comes the maternity leave..."

"What's wrong with you? What, do you want me to get an abortion? Would you have preferred that I aborted the twins?"

Before Gil could respond Sara stormed from the room. She ran out to the yard, tears streaked down her face.

"Catherine, I need to get away from here. I need to somewhere, anywhere but here. I can't be here right now, not with HIM."

"What happened?"

"Can we talk about this later. I just want to get away from here."

XOXOXOXOXOX

Catherine drove to a secluded little pond that Warrick had brought her to when he proposed. While they were sitting Sara told Catherine what happened. Without warning Sara grabbed her stomach and began throwing up. At first Catherine thought she was just stressed about the fight. She quickly realized something was wrong when Sara fell of the bench and she saw the blood.

XOXOXOXOXOX

I know that this story is really sad and may feel rushed, but please review and tell me what you thought.


	11. The Healing Begins

Gil ran to the nurses station, tears streaking his face.

"I...I need to see Sara Sidle...sorry Sara Grissom. She was brought in about ten minutes ago...a miscarriage?"

"Sir, right now she is in surgery, I can only allow family members into the waiting room up there."

"She's my fucking wife!! We just got married five hours ago!!"

The nurse looked up from what she was doing. "Congratulations !!!!!!!!"

Catherine had heard yelling and went to find where it was coming from. She rounded the corner and saw Gil, ready to pounce on the nurse.

"GIL!"

"Catherine, where is she? How is she? This is all my fault."

"They had to do a D&C. I don't know what happened. One minute we were talking and then she was passed out on the ground."

Gil noticed that Catherine's eyes were red and puffy. A protective hand lay across her own slightly swelled abdomen. Gil took Catherine into a big hug.

"Warrick drove me. He's parking the car right now. Tell me where she is."

Gil sat in the waiting room for an hour before the doctor came out. He said that Gil could go see his wife, he also apologized for the nurse at the front desk.

Gil walked into the small room and took in Sara's still, pale form. She was pretty doped up and would probably be out for the next couple of hours. He pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and took her hand in his. She looked so fragile. He soon fell asleep to the beeping of the monitor.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Sara slowly woke up but couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. Something was wrong and she thought that if she kept her eyes closed her feeling would bo away, but it didn't. As feeling started coming back to her she felt a dull throb in her abdomen, all the memories came back. The next thing she felt was a warm hand over her own.

She opened her eyes and gazed down at her sleeping husband. She smiled..._He's my Husband._

Gently, she took her hand from his and began to softly stroke his hair.

Gil stirred and looked up at his wife...She's my wife.

"Hey. How are the twins? Who's watching them?"

"Nick took them and Lindsey back to your sisters place."

She smiled. "I always knew that when they met they would fall in love."

Gil, all serious said, "how are you? Do you know what happened?"

"I'm a little sore. I was really scared." she paused to take a deep breath. "Just before I was doped up the doctor told me that because of the complications with the twins, my uterus was basically destroyed. I will never be able to carry another baby." Slow tears traveled down her delicate face.

Gil choked back a sob. "Honey I'm sorry. Haven't you said that you want to adopt. We still have options. We can get a surrogate or something. Shit, this is all my fault, I never should have yelled at you."

"It's not your fault. This would have happened eventually anyways, the baby never had a chance. If anything I feel terrible. You almost lost a second wife on your wedding day."

"Don't talk like that Sara. We've been through so much together. Denial, DUI's, the twins, suspicion of murder. We got through all that and we will get through this. Now, do you want me to call Nick and ask him to bring the twins by?"

"No! Do you remember what you told me in the bathroom?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want them to see mommy like this." she paused "I suppose it's a good thing I changed into pants for the reception."

"Why's that?"

"My dress would have been ruined." Sara began to cry again "I know that I had just found out about the baby, but it was still there, growing inside of me."

Gil reached for her, carful of all the tubes hooked up to her. "We WILL get through this. I promise."


End file.
